Life with an overthinker.

Written by David Hall | Posted in Article Friday, August 21st, 2020
Gears turning

In my previous post, I talked about what overthinking is, how people who are overthinkers can sometimes find this a struggle and some suggestions on how they can support themselves.

But what about those people in the lives of an overthinker – partners, friends, family or work colleagues. Sometimes, it can feel a real challenge and frustration being around someone who devotes so much time and energy to analysing every minutiae of their life. This can put a strain on relationships. Here’s a few things that could help everyone and reduce the anxiety and stress.

  1. Overthinkers will often read too much into things e.g. tone of voice, comments or text messages etc. and they will often think the worse. This means that they will seek reassurance that everything is OK which can be draining and frustrating. Communication with an overthinker is really important. Being clear about your needs and wants, saying exactly what you mean and trying to avoid anything cryptic will all benefit. Overthinkers are notorious for trying to read between the lines (even when there aren’t any!).
  2. The majority of overthinkers are genuine people and want to believe and see the good in everyone. This can cause trust issues for them when things go wrong. Being honest and authentic with an overthinker is really important, they don’t want to have ‘players’ and ‘manipulators’ in their life.
  3. Sometimes overthinkers can get caught up in really unhelpful worry loops and this means that they can seem a little bit out of control. Don’t be afraid to step in, take charge, and steer things to something else that takes them out of their own heads.
  4. It’s important to remember that being an overthinker doesn’t mean that they are mentally unstable. They are people who overanalyse and think more deeply about things from time to time. This can make them anxious and uncertain at times but they can also be hugely creative and see things from lots of different perspectives – which can be very stimulating and rewarding for everyone.

If there is someone in your life that you care about and is an overthinker then I really hope these few pointers will help make life that little bit less stressful and anxious for everyone concerned!